I don’t wanna

Every so often, more often than not, I have a case of the “I don’t wannas.”  I don’t wanna plan my menus.  I don’t wanna shop for groceries.  I don’t wanna work out.  I don’t wanna track my foods.  I don’t wanna… well, you get the picture.  There are many days it’s hard.  It’s hard to think about going to the store.  It’s hard to think about cooking something once I get good foods.  It’s an effort to even think about going to work out – let alone actually doing it.   It’s hard because of stress at work or stress at home or even for no reason…just a simple case of the “I don’t wannas.”  It’s hard not to keep my head in the sand where really… some days I want it there.   And the “don’t wannas” can bleed from one day to another.  That gets dangerous.

One day at a time. 

I hear that a lot.  People always suggest to take, “One day at a time.”  I agree with the concept but sometimes… some days… a day is too hard and too long.

Some days it’s a “take a moment at a time.”  Why isn’t that a phrase?  

And why can some people have a normal portion of potato chips?  Why do some days seem 100 hours long and revolve completely around food? 

I don’t know the answers to those questions.   I can tell you that if I surround myself with easy ways to eat well and be active, I will.    I like good food.   I like how I feel after eating good food.  I like mixing and matching combinations of good foods and creating wonderful recipes – or as my family calls them, “concoctions.”  I love to walk.  I love the energy a good workout and good nutrition give to me.  So why don’t I do this day in and day out?  Why are some days much more of an effort?  Why is it so damn hard?

But you know what else is hard?  It’s hard to not fit in to my clothes.  It’s hard to walk up one flight of steps and be out of breath.   It’s hard to write the (horrible) word “obese” on an insurance form.  It’s hard to be discriminated against because of weight.  It’s so. Damn. Hard. 

Some days I don’t wanna go to work.  But I do.
Some days I don’t wanna do laundry.  But I do. 
Some days I don’t wanna put gas in my car.  But I do. 

Or I don’t.  But none of those “don’ts” can last long because I have responsibilities.  And my health is a very important responsibility.  So I get to pull my head out of the sand.  I get to grocery shop.  I get to work out.  I get to cook deliciously healthy food that makes me feel good.  And I get to be healthy.  It’s just that some days, it’s one moment at a time. 



3 thoughts on “I don’t wanna

  1. Sooooo true. Some days it is an hour at a time, and other times even 60 minutes at a time is too much. Thanks Marci for saying it so well.


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