Happy New Year! 2014 – wow! What will 2014 bring and what will we take?
First – the BRING. I firmly believe that our mental (and sometimes physical) well being is directly related to how we deal with things that happen in which we have no control. Our responses to those things don’t necessarily define us, but will affect how we feel and act. For instance, we cannot control the weather. There might be a devastating hurricane or a blizzard that results in two feet of snow. If that happened today, how would you react? There are those who would just see the negative and whine and complain about every side-effect from such a catastrophe. Then there are those who immediately feel a call to action to fix and repair and – perhaps – shovel. Some will immediately use it as an excuse to not do something (eat well, exercise, go to work.) And then they might complain about it. Some, on the other hand, might choose to find – and embrace – the good in it. It’s not just pessimists and optimists or happy people versus unhappy people. It’s not that some of us are more emotional and others more stoic. Our responses are not innately who we are – they are choices. All of them. So this year – this 2014 – will bring to some of us weather problems, health issues for ourselves as well as loved ones, work stresses, unemployment stresses, money problems, spouse or partner or lack of spouse or lack of partner problems, even death to loved ones.
These things that happen – big and small – are going to happen. Life brings stressors. How do you handle one? Two? Three? Sometimes it even does it in UNFAIR amounts. How will you respond? How will I respond? I know some people who take things in stride until the pile of *stuff* gets just too much. I know a woman who, by most people’s standards, had a really bad 2013 including NUMEROUS health issues (both mental and physical) to them and their family, job issues, spouse issues and parent issues. And yet, this woman is filled with gratitude and love and strength and her wish for others is that they might see her and know that, no matter what happens, life is good. I’m not one to say you have to reframe every situation and choose to be happy. Sometimes it’s hard to take and we just need to vent and let it out. A good friend, a group of some kind, a spouse, or even a therapist might be a good choice. I know some people who complain about every little thing. It gets annoying, but I look at that *complainer* as one of the things that life brings to me and how I deal with that person is MY choice. I also know that some people see the good – or try to – in anything. They count their blessings, show their gratitude, ask for prayers or good vibes or strength so that they can best deal with their stressor.
I find my strength lies in my emotions. It’s strong to cry. It’s strong to ask for help. I know this. I want to constantly improve how I deal with what life brings to me. I can’t control anything else.
Now the TAKE. This is the exciting part to me. I want to take! I don’t even consider that a selfish act. (Disclaimer: I am selfish. I know this.) We get to take stuff – well not stuff because that might be stealing. Don’t steal! However taking and stealing are different. Have you noticed that the week before New Year’s as well as the week after every ad you see is about losing weight or exercising or managing your money or getting a new partner? It’s unreal. I watched TV for an hour this morning (New Year’s Day) and that’s all I saw.
I especially cringe at the LOSE WEIGHT FAST ads. Can you do it? Does it work fast? Probably. Go for it. Have you done it before? I have. The weight I lost fast didn’t stay off. But that’s not what this is about – I digress.
What do you want to take? Do you want a different body?
Do you want better credit?
Do you want to learn to run?
Do you want to be healthier?
Do you want a new job?
Do you want to meet a partner?
Take all these things! Is it as easy to do as it is to say? No. Nothing worth having is easy and don’t believe anyone who tells you differently.
There is a difference between stating what you want (a wish) and putting your life in place to getting what you want (a plan.)
I have tasked myself (with the help of some others) to make some realistic, but lofty goals. But saying I need or want to re-shape my life – that’s not measurable at all. I have to define. I have to put a plan in place so I can TAKE what I want so that my life is re-shaped the way I want. I started this plan already in the last few months but I need to get a bit more aggressive on it. So today – not because it’s New Year’s Day, but because it’s just today – I make a list. I start checking things off my list. I have a wonderful accountability partner in my husband.
What can you take? How will you take it? The how has to be in behaviors. Make small behavior changes and you’ll see results. Remember the quote, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” Behavior CHANGES are what’s key.
You need to first know you’re worth having what you want to take. THEN, you need to know that what you change will get you closer to what you can take. Life has so much to give. Take them. There are places to see, people to meet, careers to be had, good deeds that need doing. There are people you can help (including yourself!)
We can’t control some things. So take control over what you can. Know you can. Know you’re worth it.
I plan on taking 2014 as my year. Go ahead…do the same. I’ll share!