There are always going to be the people who find the bad in things. They’ll complain about their job, their friends, their kids, their spouses – even themselves. “Whine” is their first language. If I were the type that pitied, I’d pity them. But I’m not – so I don’t. And the reason I don’t is that I see the others.
I see people struggle with a horrible job but are thankful for having one. I see people who’ve been hurt by their friends and yet make new ones and are kinder to the ones they already have. I see people with sick or challenging kids (is there another kind?) and stay focused and positive. There are those with unsupportive and cruel spouses. And yet some of those people still manage to work at the issues and themselves so they don’t let it get them down. I’m amazed at people’s ability to see good where sometimes there’s so little and those who can always see bad where there’s so much good. And so I choose to surround myself with the positive – the happy. I’ve observed some consistencies:
- Happy people have the ability to reframe poor situations. They can see the good. Even laugh at how small that “good” might be.
- They seem to all understand that their mood is a choice.
- They ask questions and illicit comments with the purpose of getting positive responses.
- They rarely complain – they know it does them no good.
- They seem more humble and able to admit – or laugh at – their own mistakes.
- They take pleasure from being generous and kind.
There are more but those that are the ones that stand out.
I see people who really struggle with their weight – and many have much deeper issues – the weight is just a manifestation of those issues. And still, I see light – I see happy. I see encouragement. I see people support others. I see unconditional support. I’ve found, as someone in the business of helping people lose weight, that the positive people are the ones most successful. Why is that?
Don’t expect a scientific answer from me – I don’t know one. I’m just writing what I see – consistently.
Ever hear the expression, “That person sucks the life out of me.”? Well you need to ask yourself a few questions. First…. Are you that person? Then…. Do you know that person? And one more… can you avoid that person?
I am a happy person. I have sicknesses just like others. I have some doozy issues like others. I have challenges with my kids and my job and my weight. But my superpower is the ability to reframe – to turn it around to what is good. And the secret, in my opinion, to doing that is wrapped up in one word. Gratitude.
As a Weight Watcher leader I am so blessed to witness miracles. I see people go off their medications. I see people who are proud that they can now walk a mile without pain after years of agony with each step. I see people whose blood pressure get in to normal range. I see people who get to have less invasive procedures because they lost weight. I see people run races who would have never run before, swim laps who’ve never swam before, say “no thank you” to cake when they’ve never done that before. You might not think these are true miracles but they are. And when you celebrate the small miracles, the large ones happen.
Be around positivity. BE positive. Make your choice to find the good. Your words to others are heard. Make them good ones. Your moods are felt – make them good ones. Make a choice to spend hours, days, even weeks not complaining. Instead find someone to help – to lift.
Be grateful. For the good stuff the bad stuff and the ugly stuff. You will find that tasks (such as losing weight) become easier and more doable. Share your gratitude. Spread your happy!