Who are we in the mirror and who are we to the public? Are we different people? Some people who I think own the room when they walk in it feel inside like the room is closing in on them. Some women who, by even the most classic standards are gorgeous, see themselves as plain. I witness people’s successes all the time and am in awe and yet they don’t feel the glow, the accomplishment, the victory. Why? Why are we constantly telling ourselves we’re too ugly or too fat?
Well, we can analyze that problem all day. There are thousands of studies and journals devoted to self esteem and from where it stems. But do we have to go to our past to help our present? Although I think it can help, I don’t think it’s necessary.
I think it could be a matter of practice. And habit. What do they say about habits? It takes 21 days to make one and only 1 to break it? Well for years and years we’ve been talking to ourselves with a horrible tone. It’s a deeply ingrained habit we need to break.
I’d like a dime for each time I told those I love, “I wish you could see what I see.” It takes time to do that, but similar to the fact you can’t run a marathon tomorrow if you’ve never run past your mailbox, it’ll take some training to do that. So break it down.
I wrote early on in this blog about positive self talk, but did you stop the negative? Didn’t think so. It takes more than a few paragraphs.
I truly am clueless, though, on some people’s self image. I can watch someone exude confidence in body language, conversation, as well as aura. And come to find out she is constantly beating herself up because she’s not the right “size, status, whatever.” I don’t get it. But I don’t have to get it. “IT” is prevalent. If I were to believe all the studies, more people have poor self images than not.
Just THINK of what we, as a society as well as individually, can do if we had the confidence. It’s mind-blowing.
Ask a dear friend to tell you something specifically nice about you. Or remember something they already said. Or say it to yourself! Write it down. Say it to yourself daily. Put it on a sticky note on your mirror. Make a week of that one compliment. Say it. Read it. Feel it. Own it. Keep saying it –out loud – until you reallllllly feel it.
I can think of a handful of people who don’t need some positive self talk. They do it enough on their own. Loudly. Or do they? (Yeah, some do. But really only a handful of people.) Millions of us need to believe the softer voice of kind. We’re so critical of ourselves – that voice is so loud. It’s more listened to.
We can be so much more than we are just by seeing what our loved ones see when we look in the mirror.
Don’t worry so much about what others even think – good or bad. Love that person in the mirror – truly. You are good. You are wise. You are loved. You’re enough.
I think you’re more than enough.