I was in college when my long-lost friend from childhood found me and told me that the reason she was looking was because she was getting married. It was exciting to catch up on the phone. She invited me to the wedding – I said I would come. I made some excuse and didn’t go.
The excuse is forgotten. The reason? I wasn’t happy with how I looked and Nancy was always the “beautiful and thin” friend. I was as big as I ever was and miserable with myself. There would have been no way I could show myself.
I missed a lot of opportunities and far less than others who stay secluded because of how they look.
Yesterday I was on two flights leaving from California. On both flights I sat next to people who asked for a seat belt extension. Although I had two completely separate experiences with these wonderful people, I found that both of them made excuses for how they look. It made me sad – NOT that they were overweight, but that they were apologizing to me – a stranger – for what? They did nothing to me. Why?
Have you every looked through photographs only to find that everyone in them were having a good time and you didn’t see any of yourself? Why?
We all know that person who immediately apologizes for their hair, clothes, weight, shlump factor. They make a quick excuse that they gained a few pounds since the last time they saw you. They sometimes even insist on not being in the pictures. Why?
I’m asking why – but I do know. The problem with all the making excuses for how we look is that morphs in to making excuses for not showing up to our lives. I missed out on so much – I refuse to not show up anymore. People think it’s the weight loss that gave me that confidence. It isn’t. The weight loss HAPPENED because I started showing up.
Make a plan. Do what you need to do – but show up. Be in pictures. Go to events. Show up. I’ll see you there!