We all lie

We all lie. I don’t care what you say or who you say it to – we all lie.   If you think “lie” is too strong a word – stop reading. I’m using it and I’m okay with the word because really, I call it what it is. I’m not “sugar-coating” it because that would be a lie!

When I was a little girl sometimes my mom and dad had another couple over for cards or dinner. My mom was an absolutely amazing cook, but rarely baked. So she always purchased a little something for dessert. And since she was always on a diet, she only purchased the exact amount that she’d need for the event so it didn’t stay in the house. (She apparently knew about controlling her spaces way before I did!) Anyway, one of these nights, she had planned to serve these chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting. It was in a bakery box of exactly four and she told each of the kids not to touch them. They were for her company and we weren’t allowed. Similar to nowadays, I couldn’t resist the chocolate frosting and took my finger and dipped right in to one of the cupcakes. And then, because I knew my mom would be angry, I wiped my lips VERY carefully.   When my mom saw the cupcake, she was livid and came straight to me and asked if I ate the frosting. I told her “no.” She asked again and again I lied and said, “no.” Then she took me in to the bathroom and there was chocolate frosting all over my face. I was busted. But why did I lie?

We lie because we want something – anything from chocolate icing, trying to make someone think we’re different than we are, hiding addictions or even an excessive need for approval.  It’s SO exhausting to live the lies!  I’ve done it – it’s hard.  We’re not happy with the real, so we make something up.   I’m a mom. I’m a supervisor. I’m a Weight Watcher Leader. I’m a friend. I hear lies all the time. Most of the time I know it and most of THAT time, I will NOT acknowledge it.   What happens when you do that is twofold: You make those lying in to better liars but worse you lose out on your happy.   I can’t stand being lied to, but as much as it’s infuriating and insulting, if I take up too much energy being infuriated and insulted, I lose out on my happy.   It’s not worth it. I love people. I don’t always love their behaviors – but I am able to separate that. As long as I know I’m not an idiot, I’m okay.

In any weight loss plan the biggest lies are to ourselves.   We don’t call them lies. Sometimes we call them excuses – sometimes denial. Sometimes we don’t have a clear understanding of what we really want – and how badly we want it.   Those who just have just had a heart attack really cut back on the fat – more so than those who are told by their doctor that they’re “at risk” of having one. The want is greater. Those whose older family members have diabetes lie to themselves about their own risks because they love the sugar now.   The last couple of months, I’ve lied to myself and made numerous excuses to avoid my own weight loss/maintenance plan.   Add some real-life circumstances and I was not in the best position to go on an eating vacation – but, of course, I did. So now it’s time to be honest.

As I said before, we lie because we want to change reality.  Really it’s all about what we want – and HOW we go about getting what we want.   I was very happy to come back from vacation and look at the topic of the week – Turning the WHY in to the HOW. I KNOW I’ll have great meeting talking about this topic because turning the “why did you join” in to “how are you making that happen” will lead to some GREAT discussions! It’s SUCH a practical way to make something that’s intimidating in to real life, practical day-to-day behaviors. How brilliant! I just got back from vacation so I want to get back in to control. How will I do that? I will track all my foods and make some major food replacements.   I’ve made a plan and a shopping list. Those are all the HOWs we get to healthy weight loss.

But most of all, when I track, I’ll track honestly. If I eat chicken, I won’t only track 3 PointsPlus values. I’ll track the amount I eat. If I don’t stick to my plan, I’ll document it. If I go shopping, I’ll be honest with myself in what I can and can’t have in my safe space so that I can be successful.

I can change my reality.   Honesty will get me back in control. Honesty will earn self respect. It’s all about that to me. Others need to earn their own – I’ll earn mine by being honest.

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