12 years ago I didn’t pick up a prescription for a statin.
12 years ago my husband knew to take pictures of me “chest up”.
12 years ago I found myself staring in to a Costco size bag of UTZ potato chips finding it empty and that I ate them all.
12 years ago I walked in to Weight Watchers as a Lifetime member over goal. This was my 6th time joining WW, and 5th time walking in to join as a Lifetime member over goal. At the age of 25 I joined to fit in to my wedding dress. I didn’t have a lot to lose, lost it, and fit in to the dress. Each time I joined, the pounds that I regained brought friends and I always had more to lose and it seemed so overwhelming – the amount of work I had in front of me. So, for those that have lost and gained over and over, I get it. I understand.
I wish I could tell you that I knew this time would be THE ONE TIME – but being at goal for 9½ years, I still can’t tell you that it is. I wish I could tell you that I’ll never emotionally eat again because I will and did even just last night. I wish I could tell you that I knew something was different this time, but I can’t because it isn’t, it’s just lasted longer. I promised myself this would be the last time – but I’ve broken promises to myself before and probably will again. I wish I could tell you that I don’t have any more setbacks. I can’t. I do, I will, I will again.
But what I can tell you is that each week – no…. each DAY…. I think about how I’ve changed my life. Each bite is now a choice, whether that be chocolate cake or roasted vegetables, I can honestly say I’m conscious – something I could not say before. I can tell you that if one day I ate all of the food (who hasn’t said or done THAT?) that the chances of me doing that 2 days in a row are now reduced – not out of the question – just reduced!
I do not eat today how I ate 12 years ago walking in to Weight Watchers. I couldn’t have made the change overnight. It was a slow process. It’s still a process. That’s the beauty of this time. I recognize that I’m in a process and not a specific race or event. I’m in a life.
I get to fit the way I eat in to my life. If I had to fit my life in to a way to eat, I’d quit. This is one of the reasons I love this plan – especially this current plan! I get to live my life which means I entertain, I drink wine, I travel, I eat out, I bake, I eat other’s baked goods, and I maintain weight loss (maybe not week to week, but over time). Because I’m conscious. I’ve been food conscious now for 12 years – it’s an anniversary for me.
Is it work? Yes. It was also work being overweight. It was work shopping for clothes that disguised my bad features (or those I thought were bad.) It was work editing pictures or not even wanting to share them. It was work feeling like “why can’t I just do this?” or “Why is it easy for those people?” or “Can’t I just get through ONE WEEK eating well?”
Joining Weight Watchers to lose my weight been a Godsend. I no longer need cholesterol medicine. My husband can take the picture of the whole person. I am no longer hiding. I no longer buy clothes that hide my thighs or hips. I’m proud of that. I’m proud that my closet has color. I’m proud that I’m fairly healthy and have taken control over the small things I can take control – like the fork or the glass. But that’s just the weight loss part of my Godsend.
The friends that I have made BECAUSE of Weight Watchers, the members while I was losing, the members who I have now, the fellow service providers, the managing staff here or no longer on board – these people are now in my heart and I cannot imagine my life without them. 12 years ago I didn’t have them. Now I have them, a healthy and smaller body, and a life I love living.
Happy Anniversary to me!